Interchangeable British Actors Get Four Chances to Star in a Beatles Movie

The boys. Photo: Bela Zola/Daily Mirror/Mirrorpix via Getty Images

If London is even wetter than usual over the next few months, it won’t be due to excess rain. No, it will be due to thousands of interchangeable British actors salivating at the prospect of starring in a Beatles movie. Luckily for them, director Sam Mendes (you know, American Beauty, 1917) is giving them four chances. Mendes is set to direct a “uniquely thrilling and epic cinematic experience: four films, told from four different perspectives which tell a single story about the most celebrated band of all time,” according to a statement obtained by Deadline. And yes, that includes Ringo Starr, with peace and love. Produced by Sony Pictures Entertainment, for the first time ever, both Apple Corps Ltd., the Beatles’ conglomerate, and the Mop Tops themselves have signed off on the project, giving life-story and music rights.

As for the stars, Mendes has a cavalcade of options, from the boys in the boat to the Dunkirk-ians. Harry Styles isn’t out of this race just yet. Can he act? Debatable! But he can probably pull off a bowl cut, which is just as important. Let him play Paul McCartney, give George Harrison to Styles’s My Policeman co-star David Dawson (he’s got the cheekbones!), have Lennon be Dua Lipa beau Callum Turner, and then see what happens when you let Aussie comedian and chaos demon Sam Campbell play Ringo. Who cares if he’s got the wrong accent — Mendes needs an authentic weirdo to play a guy named Ringo Starr. Let’s get a dueling Yoko Ono biopic on the books ASAP.